So I Asked... Grace McClure About Becoming Less Palatable

On invisible rules, trusting yourself, and why shameless, unbothered women might just change the world.

One of my favorite things about Substack is stumbling across a writer who makes me think, Where have you been all this time?

That’s how I felt when I found Grace McClure and her newsletter, Back to Shameless. Grace is a recovering 9-to-5 tech marketer, former stand-up comedian, and writer of funny, sharp essays about womanhood, authenticity, and becoming less palatable with age.

The more I read, the more I found myself thinking, I'd love to sit down with her over a cup of coffee (or a glass of wine). Since that's not exactly practical, I did the next best thing...I asked Grace a few questions.

What are you not waiting for anymore?

I’m no longer waiting for things to “just happen.” As someone with an aversion to self-promotion, I assumed that consistent, good writing would speak for itself on Substack. I was wrong. I published on Substack for three years and thought that by hitting “publish” and then closing my laptop to go and drink margaritas, I was trying.

Again, I was wrong.

If we want something, like really want it, the onus (not anus) is on us. As I’m typing this, I’ve just realized onus = on us. And this is exactly it: it’s our responsibility to do everything in our power to push our goals across the finish line.

“No one is coming for you” is the title of an essay I published earlier this year, and I think about that mantra often.

My readers know I’m fascinated by the invisible rules we all seem to follow. What’s one “rule” you’ve quietly stopped following—and do you remember what made you question it in the first place?

After getting laid off a year ago, I began taking stock of the games we play professionally and the ways we let ourselves down by not being authentic. I’m not interested in returning to 9-to-5 employment and instead want to build my own thing.

By checking in on what is and isn’t authentic to me, I’ve taken stock of a lot of invisible rules. For example: quietly listen and nod along to the boring boomer man in a vest and assume he knows best.

He doesn’t know what’s best for you. You know what’s best for you.

Your Substack is called Back to Shameless. What’s something you wish more women felt completely shameless about?

I love this question. So many things. I wish women were more shameless about their authenticity. I see a lot of women defer to false authority and dim their shine to make others more comfortable.

My wish for all women is that they shamelessly pour more into themselves and let their freak flags fly without worrying about crow’s feet. I genuinely believe that shameless, unbothered women will change the world.

Is there a version of yourself from ten years ago who would be surprised by the woman you are today? If so, what would surprise her most?

Again, I love this question. Firstly, I can’t believe how quickly a decade has flown by. But I think if 26-year-old me met me today, she’d be a little disappointed that we’re not living oceanside in Portugal and enjoying early retirement.

But I do think she’d be impressed by my resilience and commitment to figuring it out. She’d be happy that I’m leaning more into my creative life and that I’ve left behind the 9-to-5 in pursuit of a more fulfilling unknown.

She’d also like our two Boston terriers, Dewey and Maeby.

What’s something that brings you an unreasonable amount of joy?

Making people laugh. I grew up with funny as the highest currency. I was the youngest in my family and always felt like I had to reach up. I also decided I was going to be ugly in Grade 7, when my hair coiled into a bowl cut and I had braces and acne, so I figured I’d better work on my personality.

Luckily, things levelled out, but until they did, I went full class clown (to the dismay of my classmates, minus my best friend and co-conspirator, Lainey). I still love the feeling of saying the thing everyone is thinking, but doing it playfully and with a bit of tact.

I’m happiest when I get to connect with people and share a laugh, and if we can do that in the sunshine with a cold bev in hand, all the better.

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I laughed out loud more than once reading Grace’s answers. (The “onus...not anus” aside almost did me in.)

But what stuck with me wasn't just her sense of humor. It was the freedom in her writing—not because she has everything figured out, but because she seems to trust herself enough to stop asking everyone else for permission.

I think that’s why Back to Shameless resonated with me in the first place. Around here, we talk a lot about giving fewer F’s. Grace talks about reclaiming the shamelessness we all had before the world started telling us who we should be.

Different words. Same spirit.

Thanks, Grace, for letting us all pull up a chair to the conversation.

You can find Grace at Back to Shameless, where she writes funny, sharp essays about womanhood, authenticity, and becoming less palatable with age.

And if there’s another writer you’d love to see featured in a future installment of “So I Asked...”, let me know in the comments.