That time I wore my wedding dress for fun 14 years after my wedding

The zipper stopped halfway up, but the story is far from over

The idea had been in the works for months. Months! I had plenty of time to get used to it. But when I sliced open the tape on the acid-free box that’s supposed to “preserve” my wedding gown and pulled out the cream-colored bundle of satin and lace, I still felt a tiny bit of dread. I knew it wasn’t going to fit, but how badly? Would the zipper pull up at all?

My husband was out of town, and my daughters were in bed. It was now or never. So I flipped on the most appropriate song I could think of for the occasion (“I’m Every Woman” by Whitney Houston) and pulled on the dress.

But let me back up a few steps. Why was I even taking the dress out of storage in the first place?

A few months ago, one of my friends sent a video to our book club group text that showed a bunch of women wearing their old wedding dresses to discuss The Wedding People. It was decided that our book club would do the same.

So much satin & lace!

It came up in every subsequent book club meeting leading up to the big day in October. Guesses over whose dress would still fit. Creative solutions to how we could clip the dresses closed for those of us who couldn’t zip them up anymore (hat tip to Ali S. who found adorable dress clasps on Amazon!). Sharing our actual wedding photos so we could marvel over how young we all looked then.

The night before the big day, I knew I had to try it on quickly; I needed to know what I was working with. Our group chat had been active all day as the other ladies had pulled their dresses out of their respective boxes and garment bags.

I stepped in, pulled it up, and got it about halfway zipped. I wriggled a bit, and it went a little bit farther up. But that was it.

I turned and looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. A really big smile. The dress didn’t fit, but it didn’t have to. I’ve fit a lot of living in the 14 years since my wedding, including giving birth to two amazing daughters. If having them was the price of my dress not fitting, I’d pay that all day, every day.

Or maybe it was the countless delicious meals I’ve eaten, or the bottles of wine I’ve shared with friends. Also absolutely worth it.

At the end of the day, the dress didn’t zip up, but I feel better in it today than I did when I was 26. In 2011, like so many brides, I was in a panic over the dress. First, there was just the dress-buying experience, which, for a non-size-2 woman like myself, was incredibly stressful. Then I had to order the dress several sizes bigger so that it could be molded to my ample chest. Then the stress of going for alterations and hoping the dress still fit. And the weeks leading up to the wedding, when I was squeezing in extra workouts and starting tanning.

I felt like a beautiful bride on August 26, 2011. But I feel more attractive and confident with the dress that doesn’t zip than when it zipped easily.

Who wore it better? 2011 Amanda or 2025 Amanda?

The night of our book club meeting was a delight. Most of us brought our dresses to Ali G's house and changed there. Some women slipped into theirs easily; others, like me, did not. But we all laughed and had a good time. We took photos, sipped cocktails inspired by the book, and even ate a mini wedding cake.

Find yourself a book club that does fun stuff like this!

One of the pictures that I insisted we take was a photo of the non-zipped dresses for those of us whose dresses didn’t fit. It’s maybe my favorite picture of the night, but that might be because I don’t often get to show off my beautiful peony tattoo, which is one of many ways my body is different (and better!) than it was in 2011 when I got married. I only got that lovely tattoo this year.

Didn’t zip, still a fit

When I got home from book club, I put the dress carefully back in the box. It’s ready to be worn again one day if either of my daughters wants it. (The night I tried on my dress, I knew my oldest daughter would still be awake, so I showed her. “You’re so beautiful, Mom!” she said, and begged to wear it for her wedding day one day. I won’t hold her to that - she’s welcome to wear it or wear something that’s her style whenever her big day comes.)

Putting on the dress after all these years—knowing it wouldn’t fit—was a little scary. But I’m so glad I did. Sometimes you have to do the thing that makes you uncomfortable, just to remind yourself how far you’ve come.

Love,

Amanda

Zero F’s Favorites

I’m a Golden Girls superfan: I’ve seen every episode, quoted many of them in casual conversation, and fully claim Blanche as my spirit animal. The scene replaying in my head before book club was peak Blanche: she’s trying to squeeze into her old wedding dress, the zipper protests, and Rose, bless her heart, just takes a picture instead of telling her. That’s friendship.