The Golden Girls Were Giving Zero F's Before It Was Cool

On why getting older isn't the same thing as growing old.

I think we all have that TV show where we’ve seen enough episodes enough times that we can quote them from memory.

For me, that show is The Golden Girls.

I remember watching it with my mom when I was young enough to get some of the jokes, while most of them went completely over my head. But I kept watching. And the older I got, the more I understood.

By the time I reached college, when I’d occasionally catch reruns at odd hours in my dorm room, I had all but decided that I wanted to be just like The Golden Girls when I was older.

Living in Miami with my best friends, still working, volunteering for causes I cared about, being a leader, and having late-night cheesecake and gossip sessions whenever I wanted? Not to mention, these ladies had a far more active dating life than most people half their age.

The Golden Girls became my vision for getting older.

And then this meme started making the rounds on the internet, hitting millennials like me completely out of nowhere.

It was a clip from an episode where Blanche is introducing herself during a group therapy session.

“I’m 41 years old, I’m 5’6”, I weigh 108 pounds, and my hair is its natural hue.”

As my fellow millennial women started turning 40, that clip went viral, usually paired with a caption like, “Guess I’m a Golden Girl now!”

But here’s the thing.

The clip is taken completely out of context.

Because Blanche is lying.

She wasn’t 41. She was in her mid-fifties to early sixties throughout the series.

But my insistence on accuracy aside... I’d happily be a Golden Girl, even now, at 41.

Those ladies were giving Zero F’s long before anyone coined the phrase.

If you're wondering... yes, I own a Blanche wine glass.

Because at 41, I've learned that giving Zero F's doesn't mean you stop caring. It means you finally get honest about which things deserve one. You stop worrying about looking cool, apologizing for taking up space, or waiting for someone else to tell you your life is allowed to be joyful. And when I look back at those four women, that's exactly what I see.

Let's take Blanche, my spirit animal. Everyone remembers Blanche because she loved sex. Fair enough. But that's almost the least interesting thing about her. What I love most is that she refused to become invisible just because society expected women over fifty to fade into the background. She walked into every room like she belonged there. That's a very different kind of confidence.

Dorothy never seemed particularly interested in being liked by everyone. She didn't waste much energy trying to impress people she didn't actually like. There's something deeply Zero F's about that.

Sophia had very little interest in filtering her thoughts. Sometimes she was inappropriate. Sometimes she was wrong. Almost always, she was honest.

Rose gets dismissed as the naive one. I don't think that's fair. She refused to let disappointment turn into cynicism. Maintaining that kind of optimism after decades of life experience might actually be the bravest thing anyone on the show did.

How could I not see those women as role models?

They also had fun. They genuinely enjoyed their lives. There weren’t too many episodes of them just sitting around waiting for something to happen. They were running political campaigns, caring for neighbors, scheming up ways to make money, and saying yes to life.

They went on vacations. They went on dates. They fell in love. They broke hearts.

They made plenty of mistakes.

And somehow, no matter what happened, they always seemed to end up around the kitchen table, eating cheesecake. Lots and lots of cheesecake.

So maybe that’s why, when that meme went around the internet and everyone was so worried about suddenly becoming a Golden Girl, I was pretty excited.

Those women weren’t finished.

They were still becoming themselves.

They were still dating, still laughing, still trying new things, still making mistakes, still showing up for the people they loved.

They weren’t giving Zero F’s about everything. They cared deeply about their friends, their families, their work, and the lives they were building.

They just stopped wasting energy on the things that didn’t deserve their attention.

And honestly?

If becoming a Golden Girl means refusing to fade into the background, surrounding myself with people I love, laughing until midnight over cheesecake, and continuing to build a life that’s full of purpose and joy...

I can’t wait.

Turns out, you don’t have to wait to become a Golden Girl.

You just have to start living like one.