You’re Not Too Busy
You’re just choosing something else.
Can we stop saying we’re too busy?
“I’m too busy” is a cover story.
Yes, our lives are full. Mine included. That’s not the point.
The truth is, how we spend our time is more in our control than we like to admit.
“I’m too busy” becomes a crutch. An excuse.
It protects us from saying uncomfortable things out loud: “This isn’t a priority for me.”
“I don’t want to do that.”
“I’d rather do something else.”
I caught myself doing exactly this recently.
We got last-minute tickets to the White House Easter Egg Roll. I said yes immediately. It’s exactly the kind of thing I say yes to.
But the day before, after a long weekend of Easter activities, I started to second-guess it.
And then the morning of, when I saw all the meetings I had to reschedule and everything I was already behind on… I started to think I was too busy to go.
Not because I was actually too busy. But because it suddenly felt inconvenient.
But my daughters were so excited—not just about missing a day of school. And I knew that getting to step onto the grounds of the White House isn’t something everyone gets to do. This was special.
My work could wait. My meetings could be rescheduled. And none of the things I thought were so urgent that morning actually mattered.
Because saying “I’m too busy” is polite.
It’s easier than saying no. Easier than disappointing someone. Easier than admitting we just don’t want to.
“Busy” lets us avoid telling the truth—sometimes even to ourselves.
And I think that’s why this phrase sticks around.
Because “busy” makes it sound like our lives are happening to us. Like we don’t have a say in how our time gets spent.
But most of the time, we do. We’re just not used to saying it that way.
The reframe I’ve been working on (and I’m not perfect at it) is to own my choices.
How I spend my time is a choice. Some feel like real choices, others feel like obligations—but they’re still mine.
Every single thing I spend time on, whether I’m excited about it or not, means I’ve chosen not to do something else.
When I acknowledge that I’ve chosen it, I’m in control.
When I say I’m too busy, it feels like I’m not.
Owning those choices—even the bad ones—is how I take that control back.
On a given weeknight, after my daughters go to bed, I might fold laundry and watch Bridgerton.
Or I might go to book club instead—even if it feels like the wrong choice with laundry piling up, emails unanswered, and dishes in the sink. And I know exactly what I’m choosing not to do instead. But I enjoy book club, and that’s enough. It matters more to me than everything at home left undone.
I am the queen of doing too much. I pack my schedule to the brim.
And if I complain (because despite this manifesto, I still do), my husband reminds me—with the slightest eyeroll—“You did this to yourself.”
Yes. Yes, I did.
And I’ll keep doing it. It’s who I am.
I’m always going to have a full, bursting-at-the-seams life.
I respect people who say no more. I’m not one of them. I keep packing more in.
So the deal I make with myself is this: I don’t say I’m too busy. I can be busy without using it as an excuse.
You’re probably busy. Maybe even “too busy.”
But that phrase is doing a lot of heavy lifting.
Sometimes it’s real—jobs, kids, logistics.
And sometimes it’s just an easier way of saying, “I don’t want to.”
If it really matters, we make it happen. If it doesn’t, we say we’re too busy.
Our calendars already tell the truth. We just don’t always say it out loud. This isn’t judgment. I’ve made plenty of questionable choices with my time.
(There’s a reason I keep deleting Instagram—it’s way too easy to get sucked into scrolling and lose all sense of time… especially when the algorithm cycles between luxury travel reels, Beth Dutton clips, and whatever unhinged content it thinks I’ll like next.)
I’m trying to stop using “busy” as an excuse—for what I don’t get done, what I say no to, and what I think I can’t fit in.
I’m still going to overpack my schedule.
I’m still going to say yes to too many things.
But I’m done pretending it’s happening to me.
I’m choosing it.
It really is about taking ownership. Saying 'no, I don't want to or don't feel like it' can be hard. But it's something I learned how to do on my journey of choosing myself. I still don't always get it right and give myself a kick after the fact. But I'm getting better at it. :-)
It’s so convicting to realize that "busy" is often just a shield we use to keep from admitting what we actually value. There’s such a shift in power when you stop acting like your schedule is a storm happening to you and start admitting that you’re the one who built the clouds. It makes the "yes" moments, like the Easter Egg Roll, feel less like a stressor and more like a conscious gift you're giving yourself. Love this ✨